So, which soundtrack gets the honor of being the first reviewed? Well, if you read the title of this entry, which I’m sure you did because that is just how blog posts work, you would know, it’s GoldenEye! (Incidentally, this was the very first soundtrack I ever bought. I remember finding it in a Borders circa 2000 – having already declared that it was my favorite movie of all time, I immediately squeaked and snatched it up. Please remember that I was nine at the time and I couldn’t find that CD anywhere but the internet, which I was not allowed to buy from since I was, er, nine.)

Pause while everyone feels old. Okay, let’s continue.

Sean Connery...I mean, Pierce Brosnan Is About To Shoot You.

GoldenEye is the seventeenth movie in the James Bond franchise, produced by EON Productions (which means we are excluding both the Casino Royale with David Niven in, and also Never Say Never Again). It was the first outing of Pierce Brosnan in the tux, coming out of a six-year dry spell after the last one, Licence to Kill with Timothy Dalton (who really gets short shrift in the annals of Awesome James Bonds).  As such, GoldenEye is terrific fun to watch 15 years after its production for such gems as Natalya requesting 500 MB hard drives and 14.4k modems in the IBM store (which was a big deal!) to the explosiontastic misconception that EMP not only disables everything with an electronic circuit, but makes its molecular structure change to explodium. This was the first 007 film of the Nineties – which meant it was the first 007 film since the Cold War ended. This film was the make-or-break point for the franchise, because everyone was asking the question: Could James Bond survive in a post-Soviet world?

The box-office gross answered in the affirmative. The film was a huge success, garnering over $350M in 1995 dollars from a $58M budget, and received two BAFTAs – one for Best Achievement in Special Effects, another for Best Sound. (Then of course there was the famous video game, the soundtrack of which I may review at a later date.)

Yet, funnily enough, few people enjoyed the music of the film. It was certainly non-standard: John Barry, the composer for eleven of the prior Bond films, declined the job. So they grabbed Éric Serra, the French composer who had scored Nikita and The Professional, figuring he’d do well on the film. Spy stuff, people dying…same-ish genre, why not? Serra then went on to score The Fifth Element, so he wasn’t actually tarred and feathered for his lack of a brassy Bond film score…but it’s still reviled in many circles. Being that I am maybe one of six people in the world to like this soundtrack, I decided to go through it one track at a time and give my impressions other than “an explosion of synthesizer and timpani”.

So…onwards!

1. “GoldenEye” – Tina Turner

I don’t know what this video is about, and neither do you. Nobody does. It’s actually chaos. There’s a leopard – why is there a leopard? And chicks with AK-47s in miniskirts, and…anyway, the official video is crazy. Do not attempt to analyze it. That way lies madness.

That’s more like it – the opening title sequence. It’s actually quite cleverly designed, with the fall of the Soviet Union and everything, and the two-faced woman, and the statues of the Soviet leaders which pop up about halfway through the film.

Legit.

But hang on, what the hell is happening with these lyrics?

See reflections on the water
more than darkness in the depths
see him surface in every shadow
on the wind I feel his breath

Goldeneye I found his weakness
Goldeneye he’ll do what I please
Goldeneye no time for sweetness
but a bitter kiss will bring him to his knees

You’ll never know how I watched you
from the shadows as a child
you’ll never know how it feels to be the one
who’s left behind
You’ll never know the days, the nights,
the tears, the tears I’ve cried
but now my time has come
and time, time is not on your side

See him move through smoke and mirrors
feel his presence in the crowd
other girls they gather around him
if I had him I wouldn’t let him out

Goldeneye not lace or leather
Golden chains take him to the spot
goldeneye I’ll show him forever
it’ll take forever to see
what I’ve got

You’ll never know how I watched you
from the shadows as a child
you’ll never know how it feels to be so close
and be denied
It’s a gold and honeyed trap
I’ve got for you tonight
Revenge is a kiss, this time I won’t miss
now I’ve got you in my sight
With a Goldeneye, golden, goldeneye
with a goldeneye
Goldeneye

Now that’s a stalker song if I ever heard one. In fact, it’s most stalkerrific song since the Police did “Every Breath You Take”. I’m also positive that this damn song is responsible for 98% of all 007 slashfics. (Yes, they exist. Be afraid.) I really want to know what Bono and The Edge were thinking when they wrote this. On second thought, no. No I don’t.

As an added bonus, there’s an alternate theme. Ace of Base were originally slated to perform the theme song, but pulled out for some reason. There exists a demo of the song, actually:

Ace of Base would later re-use the melody and most of the lyrics for their song “The Juvenile”. Actually, the end-of-chorus lyric “Tomorrow’s foe is now a friend” in that song is more suited to the scrapped GoldenEye theme. (Whoopsy spoilery!)

Yeah…what could have been, eh?

2. “The GoldenEye Overture: [Pt. 1 - Half of Everything is Luck] [Pt. 2 - The Other Half is Fate]” – Éric Serra

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the–holy shit, is that the James Bond theme done on timpani? I need to go lie down, because that is awesome.

This track pretty much lets us know what we can expect from the score from here on out. It’s pretty interesting, lots of percussion, and sounding a little like proto-techno. Industrial, even. Towards the latter half of the track, we get to hear the first of the Ominous Electronic Chanting, which sounds like someone set their Casio keyboard preset to Satanic Men’s Choir. Get used to that, it’ll show up during suspenseful moments.

This was used during the pre-title sequence, when agents 006 and 007 are invading the chemical weapons facility at Arkhangelsk. Things explode, 006 is murdered, and we meet Colonel Ourumov. Also 007 breaks physics by catching a falling plane, but whatever, he’s James Bond, he can alter the local laws of gravity as he so chooses. Don’t question it.

3. “Ladies First” – Éric Serra

Ah yes, the driving scene. This is where we first meet Xenia Onatopp, who turns smutty Bond girl standards up to eleven. This track is more ,uh, blatantly ’90s than the others, since it comes complete with hip-hop record scratching, beginning at about 0:14 and intermittently throughout the rest of the track. At about 0:34, the electronic…accordion or whatever (another keyboard preset) kicks in, reminding me of those very silly videos we used to have to watch in high school French class which made France seem as if it were perpetually stuck in 1993. At about 0:58, we are rewarded with a traditional instrument in the background, a string instrument of some kind. It ends up getting overlaid with the record-scratching again, but I suppose I’ll take what I can get. For me, it’s enjoyable on nostalgia grounds – that, and it works in the scene during which it is used. It’s kind of a…humorous car chase – and for us here in the Naughties and beyond, the keyboard sounds are damn funny.

4. “We Share the Same Passions: [Pt. 1: The Trip to Cuba] [Pt. 2: The Same Passions]” – Éric Serra

I don’t know why the first part of this song is subtitled “The Trip to Cuba”, because a) that puts it horribly out of place within the film’s structure and b) it’s so similar to the arrangement used during the baccarat scene. It is then immediately followed up with the music from the baccarat scene. Why didn’t they just cut it into two tracks? It is a mystery.

I don't understand baccarat...but I do know Pokémon.

Anyway, we get more strings in this section, because it’s James Bond living the high life. Around 4:03, we get a change in scene, and some creepy strings at about 4:17, when Bond is spying on Xenia. Good times.

5. “A Little Surprise for You: [Pt. 1: Xenya][Pt. 2: D.M. Mychkine]” – Éric Serra

You might notice that the spellings of Xenia and Mishkin are, er, different. I did not know what to make of this earlier and the only explanation I can come up with is that Éric Serra is French and that is just how the character names are spelled in French. Kind of like how Tintin becomes Kuifje in the Netherlands. (Oh, the Dutch.)

This track is played when Xenia and the Mysterious Other Person (fandom is divided on whether it’s Ourumov or not because we never see his face, though the novelization implies that it is in fact Ourumov) steal the Tiger helicopter from right under the French military’s noses. Why? Because it is resistant to EMP, is why! It is Chekhov’s Helicopter. It’s got that lovely something-dropped-at-a-construction-site sound that always pops up during this soundtrack (I’m not being sarcastic, I love that sound).  At about the 1:20 mark, we have the return of the Ba’al United Men’s Choir, and the jingle bells (which always show up in the Russian tracks, I’ve noticed).

6. “The Severnaya Suite: [Pt. 1: Among the Dead][Pt. 2: Out of Hell][Pt. 3:  The Husky Tribe]” – Éric Serra

This is the first encounter of what I like to call the Sad Natalya Flute, but what everyone else calls a leitmotif. This is basically Natalya’s theme. And then it’s played in a minor key with some brass instruments at around 0:38, because Bad Things are happening. The emotion in the tune is really striking, especially when part 3 kicks in with Chekhov’s Huskies. Notable for being one of the only tracks on this CD without heavy ’90s electronica. The Sad Natalya Flute will show up in some of the following tracks, so keep an ear out.

7. “Our Lady of Smolensk” – Éric Serra

This might be the shortest track on the entire CD, clocking in at one minute, two seconds (according to iTunes – the linked video has a second or so of dead air at the beginning and end). Nonetheless, it’s got a wealth of interesting stuff in it. The track itself is in my opinion gorgeous and I wish it lasted longer – but the sequence is short in the film anyway. It’s kind of otherworldly, a little strange, and there is a snippet of voice beginning at about 0:25 that I don’t even know what language it’s in. That chanting will show up again in track 10, “A Pleasant Drive in St. Petersburg”. This is one of my favorite tracks on the CD just because of how atmospheric it is.

8. “Whispering Statues: [Pt. 1:  Whispers][Pt. 2: Two-Faced]” – Éric Serra

Ah, yes, the Big Reveal. “Hello, James.” Possibly my favorite part in the movie. The first part, “Whispers”, is pretty creepy, especially with the random violins tossed in there, swiftly followed up by more Ominous Chanting which, unlike the other stuff, is actually done by human beings and not a possessed Casio keyboard. At about 1:15 it becomes “Two Faced”…and Janus himself is revealed. In the interest of avoiding spoilers, I won’t say who it is, but the Law of Conservation of Detail is hard at work. The part with the piano, where Janus is telling his story, is actually one of the more emotional parts of the score. Then again, I am also a sucker for quiet piano pieces and Muse’s Exogenesis: Symphony makes me cry every time I listen to it.

…and bam, at 3:06, tranqed.  Sucks to be you, James.

9. “Run, Shoot, and Jump” – Éric Serra

The second-shortest track on the album, Run, Shoot, and Jump is probably the most intense. It’s 1:07 of running through Soviet archives from corrupt Russian guards. Really, that’s about it. But it’s pretty sweet.

10. “A Pleasant Drive in St. Petersburg” – Éric Serra

Finally, we get a James Bond theme. A James Bond theme made by throwing a synthesizer and a keyboard together and hoping desperately that they managed to produce viable offspring.

Also there’s that creepy chanting from Our Lady of Smolensk again. The guitar (or possibly electric banjo) beginning at 2:56 might be my favorite part.

This song was so hated by the producers that they decided to scrap it in favor of a more traditional 007 theme for the actual tank chase itself, by John Altman:

You can, however, still hear Serra’s version on the main menu of the special edition DVD.

11. “Fatal Weakness” – Éric Serra

Fatal Weakness is another one of my favorites. It’s creepy-like and provides the ambiance we’re going to get from the film from here on out. Which is full of bass and creepystrings and whalesong and the occasional series of industrial sounds that I will always, always, always associate with the adjustment of a big-ass satellite dish (starting at 1:23).

Also, there is more chanting at about 2:45, and this time it’s more easily identified as Russian (at least, to me). No bloody idea what it means but it’s creepy…which is exactly the point. Oh, those Russians.

12. “That’s What Keeps You Alone” – Éric Serra

Whuh-oh, it’s the Return of the Sad Natalya Flute with String Backup. They’re in Cuba now (so the first part of We Share The Same Passions should have come between this track and the previous one, but whatever). This is where Natalya confronts Bond on the beach. And then he finally seduces her. (Did you expect anything less? This is James Bond we’re talking about, he always seals the deal. Quantum of Solace excepted. And I guess also the Dalton Bonds, because of AIDS being such a big concern in the ’80s.)

At about 2:13, it cuts to them lying in bed (after the implied sexings), Bond cracks a bad joke, and Natalya tries to smother him with her pillow. Then they make out again. It’s kind of hilarious.

13. “Dish Out of Water: [Pt. 1: A Good Squeeze][Pt. 2: The Antenna]” – Éric Serra

Here comes Xenia! With some scary Donkey Kong music. (No, I’m kidding, but the beat really reminds me of DK for some reason.) Basically, Bond destroys her, everyone is saved. At 1:46, the antenna begins to make an appearance to control the satellites – which is why I mentioned satellite adjustment earlier, this is pretty much the GoldenEye satellite’s “I’m gonna murder your electronics” theme. With of course some heavy brass, because who doesn’t love brass? I’ll tell you who, communists.

Also, listen really hard at about 2:13. Doesn’t that sound like Windows quietly making a ‘ping!’ sound in the background, like an error message just popped up? Do you think that was intentional?

14. “The Scale to Hell: [Pt. 1: Boris and the Lethal Pen][Pt. 2: I Am Invincible]” – Éric Serra

I love this one. I also love this scene in the movie. The love may or may not be related. I mean, I swear that’s a bass. With maracas. And the occasional record-scratch sound. And of course, the most baffling sound effect (to me, anyway): The squeak-squeak noise beginning at 0:44 that sounds for all the world like someone’s playing basketball in an indoor gym with a wooden floor, while wearing new sneakers. This is a sound I am extremely familiar with due to five years of district-mandated gym class. This is that sound.

It steadily builds on the main theme with the bass as things get more heated, especially at 1:23 with the synthesizer explosion. There’s banter, something that looks suspiciously like Gatorade turns out to be flammable, and pens explode. 2:12 is I think the actual explosion.

And 2:18 begins the final confrontation between Bond and Janus, complete with some snippets of electronicized 007 theme that sounds a little like a machine growling. And it is awesome. I think this is really my favorite track on the entire CD.

Trivia: For this fight scene, the actors did almost all of it on their own, without stuntmen, and it was supposed to be kind of an homage to the famous fight scene with Red Grant in From Russia With Love. It is also pretty killer in and of itself.

15. “For Ever, James” – Éric Serra

Sad Natalya Flute again because she thinks Bond is dead, but he isn’t, because he’s 007! And they make out in a field. And then Jack Wade comes in to ruin the moment, because he is Jack Wade and he’s just awesome like that.

There’s a bit of a Funny Aneurysm Moment when Wade asks them if they would like to finish debriefing each other at Guantánamo. Yes, that just happened.

Really, you have to give Natalya props for being a proactive Bond girl (a reputation which is sadly ruined by the sheer number of goddamned escort missions you have to do during the video game, wherein Natalya quickly becomes the object of one’s eternal enmity because she can’t keep from walking in front of people with guns). She’s easily one of the best in the franchise; she’s tough, she can take care of herself, and she doesn’t even have the training for it. She doesn’t just laugh in the face of danger, she pistol-whips it and climbs up a burning piece of satellite rigging before danger’s house explodes.

But I wonder why we never see her again after this…?

…oh my God. It’s all so clear now! He left her at Guantánamo! Cold, James. Cold.

16. “The Experience of Love” – Éric Serra

And now we have the end credits song. For an added bonus, Éric Serra sings! Yes, I’m serious. Copious usage is also made of the basketball-sneaker noise. I do kind of like this song, but I feel like it doesn’t have much to do with the movie.

I know you dream a lot
Holding on to lies
And you wait around
For someone to know where you hide
And in your dreams you feel a lot
But you keep it all inside
And you close your eyes
It helps keep you alive

(The experience of love)The experience of loving
Will take all the pain away
Just understanding for the first time
What you feel inside
Love is in your life
And having come this far
Cherishing your dreams
You have realized now
How they help keep you alone

The experience of loving
Will take all the pain away
Just understanding for the first time
What you feel inside
Love is in your life

(Leave the dreams behind)
Breathing in the scent of love
(Leave the dreams behind)
Sensing love in everything
Under the sky

The experience of loving
Will take all the pain away
Just understanding for the first time
What you feel inside
Love is in your life

(The experience of love, under the sky)
Sensing life
(The experience of love, under the sky)
Will take  all the pain away
(The experience of love)
For the first time (under the sky)
Love is in your life
(The experience of love)
Take it below*, feel the flow
Hold it close don’t let it go
(The experience of love, under the sky)
Will take all the pain, all the pain
(The experience of love)
For the first time (under the sky)
When love is in your life
(The experience of love)
For the first time (under the sky)
The scent of love
(The experience of love)
For the first time (under the sky)
Just keep it all inside
(The experience of love)
For the first time…

* Nobody has yet come to a consensus on what the hell that line is, Serra mumbles it so it’s hard to make out.

As you may have noticed…this has nothing to do with the movie! Except for the insertion of “It helps keep you alive/helps keep you alone”, a callback to the scene where Bond and Natalya are on the beach. This song is actually more suited to Inception, as a theme for Cobb. Because that usage would actually make sense, with all the emphasis on dreams.

Hmm. Hold that thought, that’s a music video to be made.

So, was Serra 15 years ahead of his time, or did he just want to plonk that song in during the credits?

Yeah, that’s about all I’ve got. I hope you enjoyed Soundtrack Saturday. Next time: I’m thinking a Hans Zimmer score, possibly…Gladiator?

Someone join my mafia i need 1 more person 2 do this mission kthx

…and your urge to remove people from the gene pool grows ever stronger.

Well, take heart, fellow citizens of the internet. And take a deep breath. Ready?

It’s not their fault.

No, it isn’t. It’s not their fault they’re flooding your news feed with such absolute rubbish at all hours of the night. They’re victims, you know. They’ve been infected with a truly insidious virus: The virus of casual gaming.

Since I’m not a doctor, you may think me poorly-qualified to make such a claim. I feel sufficiently comfortable doing so because I’ve seen Outbreak and The Andromeda Strain (the 1971 version, not the explosion-tastic miniseries) several times. That makes me at least a quarter of a virologist, right?

I’m going to go down this list of the characteristics of a virus while injecting some Facebook-gaming anecdotes of my own.

1. They reproduce at a fantastic rate. True. Facebook games came from nothing, and now everyone and their mother plays FarmVille.

2. They can mutate. Games update regularly, weeding out unused/disliked features and adding in better components that will help them “survive”. The Challenge Missions in Mafia Wars are a prime example. The most recent was South Africa, meant to capitalize on the World Cup – the objective of this mission was to fix the matches by bribing referees and so on. Now that the World Cup is over, the new players drawn to the game will likely stay due to the fun they had with the “mutation”.

3. They are acellular, that is, they contain no cytoplasm or cellular organelles. So far as I know. ‘Cause if they did, that would be disturbing.

4. They carry out no metabolism on their own and must replicate using the host cell’s metabolic machinery. Indeed, Facebook games are helpless to reproduce without the living “host cells”, i.e. human beings. This is where all of that annoying “Please be my neighbor on FarmVille!” notification spam comes from.

Each of these weapons is a deadly virus out to kill you.

Oh, and they’re tricky. Tricksy little viruses they are. They even act benign, rewarding the host when they pass the contagion on, or requiring transmission of the virus to continue in the game. This usually comes right when they’ve got their hooks in the player. “You need more mafia members to play this level. Recruit. Recruuuuuit!” And the player dutifully sends out request spam to everyone on their friends list, and some poor schmuck picks it up, and the cycle begins anew. These things snowflake out – and once you start with one game, others will follow.

In my case, I started with Farm Town (FarmVille’s less popular predecessor) and Mafia Wars, after seeing them at my friend’s house and deciding they looked kind of fun. This is an example of transmission outside of direct internet contact; transmission by influence, we’ll call it. So I played Mafia Wars while I waited for my crops to grow, and I played Farm Town while I waited for my energy to refill, and it was good. Then I got bored and quietly withdrew from the system.

A year passed. Then I decided I’d get back into Mafia Wars. “It was fun!” I reasoned. I played and was happy. Then I came upon The Agency: Covert Ops, and decided to play that while I waited for my energy to refill. Farm Town was long forgotten, my old crops withered and rotting from neglect. And as I played, I noticed something. The game was trying to get me hooked.

Through a carefully crafted system of timed events and back-patting, the mind-virus was encouraging me to waste my time. “Oh, I only need a few more experience points until my next level. Then I can play some more.” More play led to more intangible rewards. I was encouraged to draw my friends into the web so I could do more. It encouraged me to pass it on. And of course the achievements. “Look! You picked up a shell! YOU GET A REWARD!” My Tribe is the worst of these offenders – there’s a little timer in the bottom left that counts down to the next event. “Gah! I can’t leave now, it’s almost time for Stardust to fall! Ooh, now I have to wait for a treasure chest! Just one more minute…” And so on. Before you know it, it’s 6 PM, you’re in your pajamas, and all you’ve eaten is Goldfish and microwave Ramen.

I'm on to you!

The viruses are even spreading out into the real world. You can buy perks and currency in these games – with real money. You can buy tie-in sandwiches at 7-11 that give you game points for Zynga titles. And it’s not just sandwiches – there’s brownies and Slurpees and you have to buy the right product to get the right reward in the right game. This is going beyond the valley of the ridiculous and into the realm of the insane. And we’re letting it happen, one FarmVille kittykat and Mafia Wars AK-47 at a time.

At this point, you might be tempted to ask me why these harmless, albeit omnipresent, games are destroying humanity. I could cite the loss of productivity these addictive games cause – 7 percent of a global sample of Facebook users spend an average of 68 minutes per day on FarmVille (the most popular Facebook game ever)! – but my beef is much deeper than that.

They can easily become conduits for delivering malware, and also cyberterrorism. So remember, every time you water your crops, the terrorists win.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s about to rain Stardust in My Tribe.

Oh, you know I’m right. Have you ever sat down and picked through the comments on your average AOL News article? Most of them make me doubt that the posters have completed third grade, judging by the abysmal spelling and grammar and their flagrant disregard for the English language and/or the shift key (or the 1/16th of an inch it takes to turn the Caps Lock key off; it works both ways).

Even the most innocent of stories are not safe from this madness. For example, here’s a cute piece about how Obama and Helen Thomas share a birthday, so he brought her cupcakes in the briefing room. Nothing bad can be made out of that, right?

O, but follow, gentle reader.

This from welcome Annie, who thankfully is not spewing bile like it’s going out of style (which it did in 1972, by the way), but needs to learn what the little blinking ‘A’ light on her keyboard means:

hAPPY bIRTHDAY mR. pRESIDENT oBAMA AND MANY HEALTHY AND ENJOYABLE ONES WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVES LIFE,PEACE AND HAPPINESS.wE ARE THANKFUL THAT THE MISERABLE HATERS HEART WILL CHANGE OR THEY USE THEIR VISA AND MOVE TO iRAN OR ALASKA.i DON’T THINK THEY WILL BE MISSED AND IA M SURE OUR EDUCATION AND SOCIAL STATUS WILL IMPROVE WITH BETTER JOBS AND DISAGREEING WITH DIGNITY OR A LIGHT BEER OR TEA.bLESS OUR cOUNTRY AND pRESIDENT AND ALL THAT ARE HELPING MAKE CHANGES IN OUR WORLD.

Aaah, the ol’ fire and brimstone from one Jim ahoy!:

Just you wait until Obama gets finished with Amerika. Forty lashes will seem like easy punishment for most. Our time is coming. And for you Obama enablers, hell awaits.

Scaaaary. Nice alternative spelling of ‘America’, too. Are you sure you don’t mean TEH UNUNITED STAETS UF AMERIKKKASTAN? Something bashing Helen Thomas from uswarrior1111 (and with a username like uswarrior1111, it’s got to be nuts):

Does Helen Thomas know where she is?

She is so senile she doesn’t know who she is slobbering over.

As far as the socialist’s bithday goes, they are having a holiday in Kenya.

Rude. What did Helen Thomas ever do to you? I’ve met her; she’s sweet. Also, I keep laughing when people call Obama a ‘socialist’. I do not think that word means what you think it means. Something from clematisvine, proving the importance of that 1/16th of an inch that enables you to turn off your bloody caps lock:

CUPCAKES – WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD CARE ABOUT SUCH AN ASSININE STORY.
OBAMA WILL DESTROY AMERICA UNLESS AMERICANS REMAIN ALERT AND VIGILANT. WE MUST ALSO TELL OUR ELECTED OFFICIALS THAT WE WILL NOT VOTE FOR THEM IN ANY UPCOMING ELECTIONS IF THEY VOTE IN A WAY THAT DESTROYS OUR FREEDOMS OR TAKE FREEDOM OF CHOICE AWAY FOR US. OUR SERVICEMEN AND WOMEN HAVE NOT DIED AND FOUGHT, AND CONTINUE TO DO SO, TO HAVE FREEDOMS TAKEN AWAY.

Cruise Control for Cool, all right. Now for a short break from the insanity, bobbensonjr has something to say:

It is everyone’s right to disagree not to disrespect

Too true, mate, too true. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming from XXX123 (the mark of quality!):

VIA VA CHE OBAMA AGAINST THE EVIL FASCIST,NAZI WEALTHY ,RACIST USA Castro tears are rolling down his eyes as he see his protege ,make and shape the USA INTO Cuba STYLE government

…waiter, I asked for Caesar salad – you brought word. Ajb1943 has this to offer:

Helen Thomas, the witch from the Wizard of Oz is about as nutty as obozo. Very appropriate that these two losers would hang out together.

Name-calling is uncalled for. Also, Obozo…I see what you did thar. Except it might be funny to a three-year-old or someone with a similarly sophisticated sense of humor. This next post from jo proves Sir Terry Pratchett’s great wisdom (to follow):

BET THEY ARE CELEBRATING ODUMBOS BIRTHDAY IN KENYA, SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE HOME TOWN BOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE HE CHOKES ON THE CAKE !!!!!!!!

That cardinal wisdom of Sir Terry’s being, ‘And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.’ kent05r has yet another word salad for us to enjoy:

Healt Care Reform, lower the standard is the answer, DO NOT ADD 32 new goverment offices of neglect, put the money invested in the people as we did the banks. Lower the limit of health care INCOME to 75k anyone below is covered and anyone above pays for health care. simply and easy. Does anyone really care. Not. Obamass and the 32 Czars want BIG GOVERMENT not what is best for the people. Do not be FOOLED by the OBAMASS SOCAIlIST,COMMUNIST PLAN IT SUCKS as BAD AS HE DOES. NO, NO NO.

Did they try to make you go to rehab at the end there?

Aaah, I admit, I did my share in baiting the poor maroons. (All the sarcastic comments by ‘Alex’ – that’s all me; glad it didn’t put up my AIM account instead, I don’t need cyberharassment…no more so than I deal with on a daily basis, anyway.) And this is mild stuff. The crazy shit hasn’t even shown up yet.

This post may seem childish, but I’m sorry, I cannot let this wholesale abuse of logic and English continue any further. I have to say something, dammit. Otherwise, they win, and this hat cannot have that.

The atmosphere by the White House during the protest was one of fear and indignation, but also cheerful despite the rainy weather. The roughly 500 people in attendance were split between the main crowd in Lafayette Park and a smaller group in front of the White House itself. Though the purpose of the event was to protest the current economic system and the perceived trend towards socialism in the government, issues from all over the board were on display. Some questioned the President’s American citizenship with signs and shouting at the White House; others carried signs proclaiming the Employee Free Choice Act unconstitutional. The main issue that brought people from across the nation to the seat of power, however, was the economy.

“It’s time we just let the system work,” Todd, who had come to the event from Seattle, WA, said. (He would not provide his last name.) “We’re moving too fast, not thinking things through. This is not the way the system was created to run, and it’s not the way it should head in the future.” When asked about the protests occurring across the country, he said, “This is the start of a movement. The more people who come out [against the current direction of the economy], the more people will know it’s okay to come out.”

He was not the only person from the West Coast to come for the protest in DC rather than attending one closer to home – Abraham Mudrick from Silverton, OR, came with a sign that read “Fascism…is the Merger of the State and Corporate Power. – Benito Mussolini” and “The Fed Reserve: Officially Pulling the Strings Since 1914”, stylized as the logo from The Godfather. “I came all the way down to help this movement to be heard, and to tell the federal government to stop out-of-control spending,” he said. “This movement needs to break the chains of ‘taxation without representation’,” which he describes as “elected officials not doing what the American people want. We didn’t want the Bush bailout, and the majority of people who elected Obama did not want the stimulus package. There’s a disconnect here – our representatives aren’t representing us. Future hyperinflation is a hidden form of taxation without representation.”

The protest, although mostly peaceful, was broken up by a minor clash with counter-protesters, led by Alex Lawson, a DC native. “I paid $200 for five signs at Kinko’s, and three of them were destroyed by the crowd,” he said. He and his unaffiliated group had gathered on their lunch break and dressed as billionaires and gone down to the protest at Lafayette Park. They managed to get close to the front of the small stage, waving their signs, which were blocked by the Tea Party protesters. There was some pushing and shoving of the counter-protesters, and the signs were taken out of their hands. Lawson feared for the safety of his small group, and tried to de-escalate the incident. After one of the organizers shouted at those who had taken the signs, saying that the counter-protesters could be there, too, Lawson’s group had one sign returned to them, and moved to the back. His group was interviewed by a documentarian on-scene, where he was asked by someone in the crowd, “When was the last time you got your ass kicked?”

“The vein of that kind of anger was permeated throughout the protest,” Lawson said. “It was unfocused, raw rage.” He also said that “the organizers were professional. They handled the crowd well.” Lawson and his group went down to the protest because “the tax burden has shifted onto the middle class. I was offended by the fact that people thought they were taking the fall now as opposed to the past eight years. That’s why I went out in the rain.”

At about 2:15 PM, an item was flung over the White House fence onto the lawn, and the protest had to be broken up for about thirty minutes while the Secret Service investigated. The item turned out to be a box of tea bags.